The Path of Ease & Flow
It is YOUR choice
Following on from last week’s email, Who Are Your Saboteurs ? (you can catch up and read it here if you missed it), this week we explore The Path of Ease & Flow
Do you often feel that tasks and people are difficult and cause you negative emotions and thoughts?
It can frequently feel so hard to navigate through life’s inevitable challenges.
But what if I said something you may initially resist? It can be as easy or difficult as YOU make it. I can almost feel the resistance when you read this. But there is one simple fact, we can choose how we respond and react.
With practice and consistency, we can all drastically improve how we think and therefore how we feel about challenges.
Image courtesy of Positive Intelligence
We make our own choices
It can be so ingrained in us to think or react in a default way. And I was reminded of this last week.
Our daughter Meghan is 3 and ¾ (her words). She loves to challenge and question nearly everything! I was reading a book called Parenting from the Heart by Jack Pransky, the previous weekend with Petra, my wife. We were only 11 pages in, when we both had an insight into how OUR behaviour and reactions to our wonderful daughter’s protests could be different.
The premise was, that whenever your child is complaining, protesting or resisting, you act with love and only love. Wow – that sounded so counter-intuitive and on the other hand, so simple. I knew immediately I wanted to try it out.
Sure enough, we got to mealtime on Monday and Meghan had only just requested fish and potato mash. This chosen meal was presented, only to receive the following comment, “I don’t want the fish and I won’t eat it”.
Now my normal reaction would have been any of the following:
“You only just asked for fish, so please eat it”
“Well try some fish with the mash”
“Please just eat it Meghan”
But remembering that I wanted to try the new way of responding, I said
“Oh, ok then, eat the mash”
Meghan did look a bit surprised by my answer and proceeded to enjoy a few mouthfuls of the potato.
And then you suddenly said
“I think I’ll try the fish now, it looks nice”
She ate everything on her plate.
Now, I know this could have gone a different way and I was prepared to respond with love, whatever happened. But I really believe that she felt that she was in control when I responded differently. I did not add any fuel to the fire, which in the past, has quickly escalated in to Meghan’s tears and my anger and stress.
How could you choose to either think or react in a different and positive way?
There are many small ways we can pause and respond differently.
It is also important to choose which situation feels right.
You wouldn’t walk in to the gym and bench-press 200kg if you hadn’t trained for it.
The same is true for negative thoughts and reactions. Pick a relatively simple and easy one to start with, one that perhaps you are not completely invested in. In that way, you build an immediate success and a new neural pathway, encouraging and building the mental muscle to deal with bigger challenges in the future.
An example might be, letting another driver or pedestrian go before you. Or not complaining or let it bother you if someone bumps in to you.
You will be amazed at how good you feel. It also has another major benefit. You are not feeding the other person’s negativity, which as we all know can quickly escalate.
A great way to position this in your mind, is to imagine them as your teacher. They have given you an opportunity to grow your own positive mental resilience.
Another technique that I have found invaluable when dealing with challenging people, is to be deeply curious about them. If it is possible, notice their eyes and imagine them as an innocent and happy 5-year-old. Ask yourself,
“Why is this person so angry, stressed or rude”?
Be inquisitive and ask yourself (not them!),
“What must have happened to this perfect human, for them to act this way and how must it be for them to have to live like this”?
Taking the Path of Ease & Flow is simple, but not easy. It takes practice and commitment.
Once we start this journey however, there is growth and an automatic snowball effect – just as there would be if you were reacting negatively!
I challenge you today to find a thought or situation where YOU choose the Path of Ease & Flow.
Further work are you curious to find out more?
I have worked with many people on increasing ease and flow
You are your thoughts and actions, whether those are positive, negative or neutral. If you want to increase the positive, decrease the negative and take less time to recover from life’s inevitable challenges, I am here to show you a fact and science-based way to do that in only 6 weeks. You will know when you are ready!
If you have been affected or inspired by anything I have written, and would like to talk, I am here for you. Not only to empathise, but to listen deeply and help you on your own journey.
You are all amazing,
John
If you would like conversation or are interested to know what it would be like to work with me…….
If you would like to find out more about better mental fitness, take a look here……
And if you want to know more about my coaching, mentoring and consulting…….
How is your journey progressing towards the path of ease and flow?
Let me know in the comments
Deep curiosity is a wonderful technique!