Mess With Your Thinking
(You will be glad you did)
Following on from the last email, Shocking benefits of taking a cold shower (you can catch up and read it here if you missed it), this week we explore Mess With Your Thinking.
We live in a world of thought, but we think we live in a world of external experience!
Thought creates our world, and then says “I didn’t do it”. David Bohm
This week I’m really going to mess with your thinking!
Have you ever taken a step back from something you are thinking about? Perhaps it is an unhelpful thought. Maybe it is a warm and loving thought.
Just because a thought is in your head, does not mean it is true or real. Of course, following on logically from this statement, the reverse is also worth considering.
Perhaps now a visual example would be good to consider.
This is Kanizsa’s triangle
Can you see the white triangle?
Well, although you think you can see it, it does not exist – it is NOT there.
Your mind is creating it to make sense of the white space.
The same happens in your thinking
We make up stuff in our thoughts that aren’t really there or true.
And the amazing thing is we can do this for both positive and negative thinking. You may remember in a previous newsletter I spoke about an incredible lady, DR. Edith Eva Egar who survived her time in a concentration camp, by believing that the she was free and her guards were the prisoners.
Sydney Banks was not a physicist or a doctor. He was a welder from Scotland. One day he was talking to a psychologist about his problems. The psychologist said to him “You don’t have problems Syd and you are not insecure; you just think you are”. Syd had here, what we might call an insight. He thought deeply about it and he could see all that was ever happening, was that his mind was projecting thought onto consciousness and he explored this deeply and both wrote and spoke about it for many years.
The simplicity of what he spoke about is truly amazing. But to understand and put it in to practice takes a lifetime.
There is a misconception that the mind works like a camera or video recorder. Nearly all of us will see or hear something and then process it in our mind, making it our reality.
But Syd offered up an alternative.
The mind works more like a projector. The projector of the mind takes the film of thought and projects it on to the screen of consciousness and it seems real(ity).
Outside/Inside thinking (this is how most of us live) – based on an article by Sandra Possing
Most of us experience things from the world and create our reality around this. Some examples are:
You only feel self-worth when validated by others
You measure your success by the scale of your external achievements and are trying to prove yourself (and your worth) to the outside world
You compare yourself to others, because everything is a competition and if you’re not winning you are losing, and therefore feel small
Feeling unsure about who you are and what you want because you’ve been too busy trying to do and be what you thought you were supposed to do and be
Are stressed, overwhelmed, or burned out because you’re saying yes when you mean no, or no when you mean yes and are stretched too thin to take care of yourself or recharge
Are either worrying about the future (anxiety) or obsessing about the past (regret) and have mostly negative emotions throughout the day
It is so easy to get stuck in this place and begin to feel it is normal. And then it is normal.
But what if there was another way? (it’s a choice)
Living from the inside/out
Choose to love and accept yourself, fiercely, and release the need for external validation
Measure your success by your willingness to try and fail, your commitment to continued growth and learning, and by being a kind and a good-hearted person who has compassion for others
Focus on your own priorities, and if you feel jealous or start comparing yourself or situation to others, celebrate their success, and use it to inspire your own commitment to your goals
Are grounded and accepting of yourself so that you can focus your attention outward and be present during opportunities to connect with others
Are doing the inner work to know yourself and your desires intimately, and then are calmly moving and growing toward those goals and dreams
You prioritise self-care, set boundaries, communicate clearly and very intentionally choose how you spend your time, energy, and other resources, leaving you a feeling of inner peace and balance while still being productive and efficient
Plan for the future and learn from the past, but spend most of your time in the present and know how to manage your emotions, and experience mostly positive feelings through the day
If you shifted a tiny bit each day from outside/in to inside/out thinking, your life and those you care about would be dramatically improved.
Further work – are you curious to find out more?
Would you like a gifted and confidential 121 coaching session with me?
I can offer this to the first few people that book…..
I want to experience a different way of thinking
Better Mental Fitness - all about the 6 week program
Starting this year, you could join a six week program to build your self-care and mental fitness – it could be the best present to yourself! I have openings now for April onwards.
If you have been affected or inspired by anything I have written, and would like to talk, I am here for you. Not only to empathise, but to listen deeply and help you on your own journey.
You are all amazing,
John
And if you want to know more about my coaching, mentoring and consulting…….